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我记得那年我才八岁,老妈嘱咐我在家好好喂猪

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  • 2021-07-21
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都说找对象要互补的,像我这么又丑又黑又穷的,就应该找个又美又白又有钱的?

我记得那年我才八岁,老妈嘱咐我在家好好喂猪,等猪再大点,卖了好给我上学缴学费。那时候家里穷,人都吃不饱,拿什么喂猪啊?我只能每天带着猪到后山让它自个找吃!说来也怪,猪没有一次跑丢!就是把后山我家种的那些白菜给拱了! 老妈刚开始也认为是野猪拱的!就这样过了好几天,直到被我老妈当场发现了!老妈气得把猪当天就卖给了!而且让我每天和她一起下田劳作,说我啥时候种好白菜,啥时候再去上学!

几名经理参加一个管理培训课程。培训师向学员反复强调:要做出决定,也要将决定付诸行动。“例如,”他说,“假如一截木头上有5只青蛙。3只决定跳开,你们说木头上还剩几只青蛙?” 学员异口同声地回答:“两只。”“错,”培训师说,“仍然剩下5只,因为决定跳开与实际跳开是不同的。”哈哈!

前段时间跟媳妇去逛街时媳妇看中了一款包,当时她吵吵着非要买,我看了下价格以后非常坚定拒绝了,媳妇好几天都没搭理我。几天前发了工资,就偷偷的把媳妇看中的那个包买了下来。送给她以后,她说我没经过她同意就买这么贵的东西,到现在没理我…...

朋友看上了一妹子,又羞于启齿,大家纷纷鼓励:用点心追,会成功的,加油! 一个月没过完,朋友又宅宿舍了。还天天吃馒头泡面,大家关切的问:咋啦这是?不陪你女朋友了? 朋友说:没钱买点心了,她太能吃了……

姐姐的儿子这次考试全部考了0分,气的姐姐和姐夫一顿混合揍。看着趴在床上下不来的小家伙,我心疼的说:就是再学渣咱也不至于都考0分吧。小外甥气呼呼的说:他不让我跟小美同桌,我就故意考0分,拉低班里平均分,让他知道我也不是好惹的。

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