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下班和女友打车回家,车上我想亲一下女友

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  • 2021-07-21
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下班和女友打车回家,车上我想亲一下女友,女友不让:“别这样,这还有别人呢。”我:“怕什么,他又看不见。”只见司机大叔调整了一下后视镜说:“现在能看见了。”

老公单位有大龄剩女一个,有次半夜,老公手机收到她的信息你还我的青春!我瞬间怒了…把熟睡的老公暴打一顿。彪悍的人生不需要解释啊……第二天才知道她想请假去相亲,我老公不同意,不过从那之后,她每次请假老公都同意……

吃午饭和饭堂阿姨闲聊,得知她儿子比我大一岁,去年结婚。阿姨:拍拖了就要早点结婚,不然一年几次旅游,太费钱!我:难道结婚了就不旅游了?阿姨:拍拖旅游花的是一个人的钱,结婚后旅游花的是他俩的钱,女的就会省。我竟无言以对,醍醐灌顶啊!

新学期开始,每个男生都要上台作自我介绍。当一位很清秀的男生作自我介绍的时候,主持人问道:“请问你有没有被别人误以为是女生?”“当然,”那男生不以为意,“从小学时老师就一直把我当作女生,直到有一天我一气之下剃光了我所有的头发。”“那老师们一定很吃惊吧?”“嗯!不过最吃惊的不是老师,而是那位很殷勤地为我提了一年书包的男生。”

和同事家二哈关系很好,我经常拿好吃的招待它。周末带二哈去楼下溜哒哒。碰到社区小姐姐带她儿子从外面回来,她儿子手里咬着肯德基鸡腿,二哈谄媚的走到他儿子旁边,趁他儿子不留意,把她儿子鸡腿给咬走了。这吃货,我训斥都还来及的时候,它走到我面前,咬着鸡腿往我手里塞。我……

昨晚老爸喝多了回家,可怜兮兮的说手指被门夹了,疼的厉害,非得让老妈给上药。老妈看着一点伤痕都没有的手,无奈的拿来热毛巾给擦了擦,擦完问老爸还疼不疼了?老爸抱着老妈的手说:“老伴真好,擦完药果真一点都不疼了!”喝多的人都这么可爱的吗?

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